Seven years ago today.

In light of all that’s happening in Mid-Tennessee…

On May 4th, 2003, the sky shot from gray and blah to green and eerie in a matter of minutes (that kind of change you only see in the Midwest.) My mom was at work; Will, Dad, and I had just been lying around the house, being lazy. We knew we were under a tornado watch, as we had been for the past few days. Once we noticed the sudden change in the sky, we headed down to our walkout basement (the storm shelter was in the back, away from the backyard/walkout part.) My dad flipped on the TV, as that’s always been his main method of news-gathering… at least, ever since TVs became popular and we stopped relying on the weather radio with the creepy jazz music. (Sometime after our entire basement flooded up to the first floor in 1998, WHILE WE WERE UNDER A TORNADO WARNING. Yeah, we had to choose between drowning and being sucked up by a tornado.) So, my dad, being my dad, has the TV on SO FUCKING LOUD that Will and I can barely hear ourselves talk. We’re still in the walkout part of the basement at this point, right next to the floor-to-ceiling windows, because it’s just a watch, not a warning. I’m still staring at the sky thinking… hmm… here’s the wind… here’s the hail… here’s the rain… uhhh… a tornado is going to appear any minute… and all the sudden, I think, hmm… I hear the faint shrill of the tornado sirens.

So, I’m like, “DAD, TURN THE TV DOWN, THE TORNADO SIRENS ARE GOING OFF!” And he’s like, “nah, they are not, it would be on the news if we were now in a warning, and besides, there’s one right next to us… it’s loud.” And once again, I’m like, “DAD, JUST LOOK OUTSIDE. THEY’RE GOING OFF. AND YOU HAVE THE TV UP SO LOUD YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HEAR IT ANYWAY.” And he STILL doesn’t believe me, at least not until the newscasters and meteorologists say, “alright, we’re going off-air and into shelter, there’s a tornado right next to us.” At which point, my dad JUMPS up, and starts FREAKING out, and is like, “RUN GUYS OMG RUN WE HAVE TO GET INTO THE STORM SHELTER OMG THE TORNADO IS COMING OMG!” like this is the first tornado warning he’s ever been in. Me being the caring, unselfish one, goes, “WAIT, we have to go get the cats so they don’t get sucked up and thrown around and die!” My dad is like, “YOU GO, YOU GO GET THE CATS! THE TORNADO IS COMING! YOU AND WILL GO FIND ALL FOUR OF THEM AND BRING THEM DOWN! GO!”

Hahahaha. We found the cats and didn’t die. In fact, contrary to my memory, apparently the May 4th tornado warning wasn’t even the one that spawned the tornado that destroyed part of Lawrence… it was the May 8th one that did. Both our junior high and the montessori school got ripped apart (for the third time in like, three years… someone hates education!), as well as some houses and the apartment complex that seems to be a magnet for natural disasters. (It’s been hit a few times by tornadoes as well as burned down by being struck by lightning.) I don’t remember the May 8th one being that big of a deal, even though it should’ve been since that one got closer to our house than the May 4th one… I only for certain remember the May 4th one because of my dad missing the sirens and almost killing us and because May 4th, 2003 was my friend’s 12th birthday.

Here’s some snazzy pictures from our newspaper from the May 8th tornado…


(the tornado about to touch down next to our junior high)

(the magnet apartments, plus some homes)

(our governor at the time, now US Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, in front of the apartment complex)

Prayers to the Tennesseans as they battle this flooding. We’re lucky in that most of our flooding only affects downtown Lawrence (where our old house in 1998 was) and don’t have to worry too much about the majority of our businesses having to shut down for months on end. Kansans are pros at dealing with tornadoes and all the cleaning up after… but I doubt dealing with being underwater was on anyone’s radar in Tennessee.

On the horizon

I finally sought professional help for  what’s been going through my mind lately. Turns out, I’m suffering from severe major depression (without psychosis), the severe part since last summer and the major depression part since middle school. I have continuous appointments with both the PhD psychologist and the nurse practitioner, the latter of which put me on Zoloft today.

I’m SO RELIEVED. Obviously, I had no idea the depression was this bad; otherwise, I would have gotten help long, long ago. Apparently, it’s kind of amazing I’ve survived without serious acts of rebellion or an eating disorder or something. I haven’t had a stable life, what with moving and switching schools and parents being AWOL and all. I focused on music, skating, volunteering, working, etc to keep from going crazy. And it worked- but I still had these cycles of unhappiness to depression and back and forth. I used to be able to pull myself out of the depression part alone, now though I guess my neurotransmitters are whacked out (hence the Zoloft.)

Life is looking up. I hope to pull my grades back up this semester; it’ll take a lot of work to actually fix my GPA, but that’s not my huge concern. I just want to get the grades I know I’m capable of getting and prove something to myself. I also opened a second savings account at the bank last month to begin my moving fund. The current plan is to leave in August for coastal North Carolina, where I’ll probably get a job and finish another semester or two at community college to build my GPA back up. After that… well, I’ll have to transfer to a 4-year university, and I haven’t really decided where; there aren’t any within a 2 hour radius of where I hope to live. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Till then, here’s to keep on keeping on… hopefully happily.

Thoughts

Arabella ate her weight in my gummy bears today. I didn’t even leave them out- THEY WERE IN MY BACKPACK. Which she SOMEHOW got into, ripped the plastic off, and devoured them ALL before I got home. I’ve used an entire half-gallon of oxystrength pet stain remover on my poor carpet today alone. That thing cost me 12 bucks, supposed to last a month, IN A DAY. And don’t even get me started on how bad her puke smells, with the sweet gummy scent combined with her acid bile/food from this morning. (Apologies for the graphic nature of this paragraph.) If I wanted to clean throw-up all day, I would have a kid.

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I password-protected a post I wrote about two weeks ago. There are no juicy secrets in it, sorry, I just don’t want that information about me available to the general public. Future protected posts will more than likely be coming, and the password will be the same for all. If you want the password, comment on this post or send me an email.

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The House passed the healthcare reform bill tonight. Remember when I wrote this, about my friend who freaks the fuck out at anyone who could be remotely liberal? Yeah, guess who wrote a Facebook status almost immediately, sparking debate (not bad) and namecalling (bad.) WHICH PISSES ME OFF ALL OVER AGAIN. Shit, I don’t care if you hate the bill. Honestly, I’m not quite fond of it myself. But to write “FOR ALL YOU IGNORANT LIBERALS….I’M SURE THIS IS ALL GEORGE BUSH’S FAULT.”? Really? Do you really need the “for all you ignorant liberals” part? As I recall, there were plenty of conservatives blaming Bush 24/7. So shut the fuck up. *P.S. Just for you, one-who-wrote-Facebook-status, I’m not-so-secretly glad that someone poked a hole in your credibility and commended a liberal for taking the high road. HA!*

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To the surprise of no one, I’m pretty sure I’m failing approximately half my classes.

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My mom hit a deer last week, driving my dad’s car. We took it to the dealer, along with my car (scheduled maintenance), to make sure nothing was technically wrong with it and to order new parts. The service technician propped the hood open to check the engine, stuck his hand in there, and pulled out… OUR HOUSE PHONE. From the engine. All my mom said was, “THAT’S where that went!”

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I bought a new LCD HDTV. It is gorgeous and the most grown-up thing I have ever bought myself. I’ll be living off Ramen and water for the next thirty years, but who cares? I HAVE A FUCKING SWEET TV! Also on the home-y note, I’m painting my rooms dark blue and dark green, a definite upgrade from the current dingy, contractor-painted colors.

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Get ready for tomorrow… where I detail everything that I’ve been feeling toward MFH for the past, oh, ever! (Oh, and in case anyone noticed, I didn’t do a first of the month post for November. Because absolutely nothing is happening in November.)

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Wordless Wednesday (My favorite little girl +cousin ever)



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19.

My birthday was FANTASTIC.

I’ve decided that from now on, I’m celebrating each year with my cousins. Normally our birthdays in my immediate family are so blah and eh whatever, but with all the kids it’s like YIPPIE YEAHHHH!!!

Before everyone asks… my main present was a new iPhone (upgrading my 3G 8gig to 3GS 32gig… which I have yet to get since everywhere is sold out), and then my dad is buying yet another MacBook so I get his other newest silver one. I love my poor old white baby MacBook, but the processor is soooo slow and I ran out of memory a long time ago.

My momma bought me some real black opal earrings, and my cousins gave me a picture frame with all of them together in it to put in my apartment. =)

Nothing else has been happening in my life that’s remotely interesting that I can publicly blog about.