My little parasite.

My body has been taken over by an alien.

I want to say that I’m grateful I can be pregnant. I know so many people try and try and never can… like my aunt and uncle, who, at the ripe old age of 50, became first-time parents through a surrogate after trying for 30 years. Even though my daughter will be coming into the world a little earlier in my own life than I would have chosen, I still already love her and am happy I’ll be a first-time mother at 20, not 50.

But. Pregnancy and I do not agree. She literally sucks everything from me and turns my body into a complete disaster. No one ever tells you exactly what you go through to grow a baby, and you never know until you A) are pregnant, B) have a pregnant wife or C) research it. Doctors say pregnancy is the roughest thing a woman will go through; women still die in childbirth! which, as you can imagine, makes me SO relieved since I’m already high-risk. This is NOT a whole glowing, happy time, even if you are in a stable place! I can’t control my emotions, I have such embarrassing symptoms, I’m BIG, and my child really enjoys rolling around and kicking me in the bladder at the most inconvenient times. Not to mention, sleep. You know how people say, “get your sleep now, while you can!” That’s bullshit. I barely get six hours a night now, because I have to pee every 2-3 hours, and then I can’t fall back asleep past 5am. I’ve played a lot of Solitaire while waiting for the time when I should be getting out of bed.

My life has already changed to where it’s not about me anymore. I can’t do fun things I did before I got pregnant, like skate and tan by the lake in 100 degree weather. Relationships are harder to maintain, and that’s just going to get even worse after she comes, since I’ll have no time. My money goes all to her and things she needs.

I want her to stay inside me till she’s healthy and has a legit, good chance at life, but OMGIHATEBEINGPREGNANT. ONLY sixteen more weeks to go?! I can’t believe my aunt has six kids, or that women purposely get pregnant right after the birth of their baby. At this rate, I’m content with this one. (and I wasn’t even sold on having kids in the first place… although I am finally excited about my daughter.)

By the way… I’m having the hardest time coming up with a name. I’ve scoured three iPhone apps and dozens of name websites!! It took me a good two months to just find my DOG’S name. At this rate, I’ll be having Baby Girl Evans. Sigh.

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Katie, August 22nd 2010 | Posted in pregnancy, rants

I really have no words.

You must read this.

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Katie, July 19th 2010 | Posted in awareness/causes/news, little ones, rants

RAWRRRRR.

I hate working in childcare.

The two girls I watch now… I do NOT get paid enough to do this. They’re eleven and twelve, so you’d think I wouldn’t have much to do. HA!! I have more behavioral problems to correct, more yelling to do, more high freaking blood pressure than when I take care of the four and ten year olds. First? I have to repeat myself three hundred times just to get them to listen. THEY ARE ELEVEN AND TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRLS. WTF? And that’s when they take their meds! Second? I have never seen any siblings fight like they do. It is absolutely ridiculous. I think, perhaps because they’re so close in age, neither of them knows when to stop. I don’t really give a damn what the reason is… they need to learn to shut the hell up, because nothing that comes out of either of their mouths can be classified as civil. Third? Apparently, no one has taught them how to behave in public. You know, arguing and running around in their own home is irritating enough, but through STORES? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And they legitimately don’t understand why I won’t take them anywhere, even after I attempt to explain. Fourth? They very rarely listen to anything I say. I’m not the real docile, walk-all-over type of nanny. Both of them know it, neither of them care. Fifth? THEIR MOTHER. I like her as a person, I really do, but she is one of those parents who uses empty threats. She never follows through! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT MAKES MY LIFE?! Not to mention the lives of their poor teachers, friends’ parents, extended relatives, etc! They know that with me, they get one warning, and after that, whatever privilege I threatened them with is gone. End of story. Not so with their mom, and I don’t know if it’s because she honestly forgets (which is still a really bad excuse), or if it’s because she feels guilty for being the only parent and not having a father for them (which is an even worse excuse.) Sixth? Seriously, I do not get paid enough for this job. Little kids’ parents typically pay more for nannies, but in this case, I should be getting a higher salary for having to practically parent her children, because she won’t. Mari asked me a few days ago, that if I’m going into Psychology, why I’m not better at controlling them. (Took a hell of a lot of restraint not to punch her.) I told her I don’t get paid nearly enough to ‘train’ them, not to mention that THAT’S NOT WHAT PSYCHOLOGISTS DO. ARLJFADLFJLSAJF!!!!!!

Then the four and ten year olds… honestly, they are typical boys, but they are relatively respectful, know how/when to behave, and heed their warnings 100% of the time. Unfortunately, it’s their parents I can’t stand. Having had three of the same babysitters for the past eight years I believe has made them forget how hard it is to find good ones, and how important it is to treat them right. I DON’T want to be told you’ll be back at eleven, only to have you show up at one. Not only does that show me extreme disrespect, but I HAVE A LIFE TOO! I have plans, I have a schedule, I have school, I have work. I’d be perfectly fine if this was a one-time thing, but 90% of your nights out partying end this way… with me having the police non-emergency number handy in case you’re dead in a ditch or something. I have enough damn stress in my life, thank you very much, than to have to worry about YOU, adults in your, what, 40s??

My mom knew the value of a good nanny, which she showed by paying very well, getting home on time, giving presents for Christmas/thanks for a great year. Being on the side of job hunting, finding these kinds of parents is like finding a needle in a haystack… next to impossible. I don’t have to be paid a fortune, but you’re leaving me with your CHILDREN. They are always alive and happy when you get home, so show me a little damn respect and gratitude.

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Katie, June 13th 2010 | Posted in little ones, rants

Come on, so-called intelligent people, think of something else.

Like many other school districts in the nation, my hometown’s is currently facing a budget crisis. We are $5.5 MILLION short. FIVE MILLION!! The main reason is due to the way the state of Kansas doles out district money: the amount is determined by something relating to how big the county is, NOT how many students are in the county. Anyone see a problem with this? About 50% of the state’s population live in the Northeast corner. So, say there’s a county in Western Kansas that is the same size (square feet?) as one in Northeast Kansas. The Western one could have 100 students, whereas a Northeast one could have 20,000… and they would get the same amount of education money. This is THE biggest issue with Kansas education as of now.

Good old Lawrence has a $5.5 million shortfall. Our district has 1 early education center (PK), 15 elementary schools (K-6), 4 junior high schools (7-9), 2 high schools (10-12), a virtual school (K-8), and an adult education center. A few years back, they closed a few elementary schools and our alternative high school (both horrendous ideas for multiple reasons.) There are currently around 10,000 students. Our city is a community; this is not a place where you can live anonymously.

The school board seems to have only one solution. They SAY they’re trying to find alternatives, but actions speak louder than words. What do they want to do? Close more elementary schools. Close MORE. The last elementary school I attended was the newest, still is the newest, and when I graduated, we had less than 200 kids. They have over 500 now!! We need another school out here, NOT close some and have more kids shoved into this school! And it’s like that all across town- all the schools are at capacity. Some are much smaller than others, but they are at capacity. Closing elementary schools is going to increase class sizes to over 30 kids. I don’t know who came up with this genius idea, but that automatically means lower test scores, less attention, more teacher anxiety. (Oh, not to mention our teachers are the lowest paid in the ENTIRE STATE.) (The school board also has been talking about moving the 9th graders to high school. Whole other story. The high schools are maxed out too… THERE IS NO ROOM FOR 9TH GRADERS.)

Mmm… and should I mention we spent god knows how many millions on two new stadiums for the high schools last year? THAT WE DIDN’T NEED? And how the administration building is the nicest building in the entire district? And how there’s plenty of room for the administration to share an old elementary school building with the virtual school? And how we pay our admin more than our teachers? And how we HAVE more admin than we need?

I honestly don’t know how the fuck this school board was elected. I have yet to meet anyone in this entire city who thinks closing schools is a good idea. I don’t know if there’s a hidden agenda, I don’t know if the city officials are in on this, but education is supposed to come FIRST. Yet, why is it the first cut? (And not just in Kansas, everywhere!) Politicians say we need to improve education, help our children, but no one is doing anything besides take money away.

We live in a very sad, pathetic country.

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Katie, March 3rd 2010 | Posted in awareness/causes/news, rants

Protected: Stupid. No more apartments 2010/ever!

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Katie, February 23rd 2010 | Posted in protected, rants
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