My baby girl is gone.

I feel like my entire world has exploded. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces.

Arabella Jane Evans, my baby, my puppy, my little girl, died tonight. Around 12:15am, February 6 2010, in the car on the way to the Tulsa ER vet. Probably somewhere on I-44 between Peoria and Harvard. She took a couple deep breaths and I knew, when I was pulling her limp body out of her car carrier, that she was gone.

The ER vet tried to save her. They tried CPR. They tried a catheter. They tried. I will be forever grateful. There was just nothing they could do. She had no breath sounds, no heart rate by the time I got her in there. She was already gone.

I miss her so much. All her things are here strewn around me, right as we left them. Her bone is on the floor, half-eaten. Her two crates and dog bed sit here, with no dog to sit in them. Everything’s the same, yet nothing will ever be the same. I’ll never again hear her tags clink together on her collar as she bounces, leaps, thumps toward me in the cute way only she could do. I’ll never again be awakened by my little alarm clock, ready to eat and be let outside at exactly 7:30am. I’ll never get to see her tolerate my children yanking her tail and picking her up. I used to imagine how she would react with a screaming baby in the house… I already know how she acts around 2+ year olds (phenomenally.) She won’t be begging for food at the table, dancing on her hind legs. She won’t be chewing my headphones. She won’t be nosing her way into my lap when I’m trying to type on my laptop. I won’t get to celebrate her first birthday on Sunday with my cousins, like we had been planning.

I regret every single moment where I thought life would be easier without her. If only I hadn’t thought that, if only I hadn’t told Kelsi I didn’t believe in heaven or hell, if only I had taken her in ten minutes earlier, if only I had tried to see if there was a closer ER vet. If only if only if only.

I love you, my sweet princess. I love you so much.

1 Comment

Katie, February 6th 2010 | Posted in pets

Thoughts

Arabella ate her weight in my gummy bears today. I didn’t even leave them out- THEY WERE IN MY BACKPACK. Which she SOMEHOW got into, ripped the plastic off, and devoured them ALL before I got home. I’ve used an entire half-gallon of oxystrength pet stain remover on my poor carpet today alone. That thing cost me 12 bucks, supposed to last a month, IN A DAY. And don’t even get me started on how bad her puke smells, with the sweet gummy scent combined with her acid bile/food from this morning. (Apologies for the graphic nature of this paragraph.) If I wanted to clean throw-up all day, I would have a kid.

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I password-protected a post I wrote about two weeks ago. There are no juicy secrets in it, sorry, I just don’t want that information about me available to the general public. Future protected posts will more than likely be coming, and the password will be the same for all. If you want the password, comment on this post or send me an email.

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The House passed the healthcare reform bill tonight. Remember when I wrote this, about my friend who freaks the fuck out at anyone who could be remotely liberal? Yeah, guess who wrote a Facebook status almost immediately, sparking debate (not bad) and namecalling (bad.) WHICH PISSES ME OFF ALL OVER AGAIN. Shit, I don’t care if you hate the bill. Honestly, I’m not quite fond of it myself. But to write “FOR ALL YOU IGNORANT LIBERALS….I’M SURE THIS IS ALL GEORGE BUSH’S FAULT.”? Really? Do you really need the “for all you ignorant liberals” part? As I recall, there were plenty of conservatives blaming Bush 24/7. So shut the fuck up. *P.S. Just for you, one-who-wrote-Facebook-status, I’m not-so-secretly glad that someone poked a hole in your credibility and commended a liberal for taking the high road. HA!*

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To the surprise of no one, I’m pretty sure I’m failing approximately half my classes.

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My mom hit a deer last week, driving my dad’s car. We took it to the dealer, along with my car (scheduled maintenance), to make sure nothing was technically wrong with it and to order new parts. The service technician propped the hood open to check the engine, stuck his hand in there, and pulled out… OUR HOUSE PHONE. From the engine. All my mom said was, “THAT’S where that went!”

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I bought a new LCD HDTV. It is gorgeous and the most grown-up thing I have ever bought myself. I’ll be living off Ramen and water for the next thirty years, but who cares? I HAVE A FUCKING SWEET TV! Also on the home-y note, I’m painting my rooms dark blue and dark green, a definite upgrade from the current dingy, contractor-painted colors.

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Get ready for tomorrow… where I detail everything that I’ve been feeling toward MFH for the past, oh, ever! (Oh, and in case anyone noticed, I didn’t do a first of the month post for November. Because absolutely nothing is happening in November.)

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1 Comment

Katie, November 8th 2009 | Posted in family, friends, pets, photos, rambling, rants

The story of Breckyn

As everyone knows, I have a six-month-old puppy, Arabella, and a two-year-old cat, Trixie. They generally live with me in the apartment I share with Eliesa in Kansas City. Though I tried to avoid it, I’m still split in half, with part of me in KC and part of me in my hometown. Therefore when I go home, Arabella (and Trixie if I’m staying long enough) come with me.

Eliesa’s friend has a Siamese cat who was having kittens. Loving Siamese cats and being lonely when I take my pets home for the weekend, Eliesa had planned on taking one of the kittens if the cat gave birth to a Siamese one. Well, apparently they all took after their dad, so Eliesa headed down to one of our local animal shelters while I was at the rink to find the perfect kitten.

I got a call pretty soon after I got off the ice that day:
Eliesa: “Sooo… I’m at Animal Haven…”
Me: “Yeah…”
Eliesa: “Weeelll, how would you feel if I got a husky?”
*note my shock here*
Me: “A husky? As in the DOG BREED husky??”
Eliesa: “Ya, I totally just fell in love with her.”
Me: “A husky, a puppy and a cat in an 800 square foot apartment. LET’S DO IT.”

The shelter knew I had Arabella, and they wanted to see how she reacted with the husky (whose name I can’t remember now.) Right off the bat, the husky’s prey drive went NUTS. Arabella only weighs three pounds, so that’s understandable- but we obviously couldn’t adopt her when we have both Arabella and Trixie.

Eliesa and I (and Arabella) went through the shelter looking for a new dog, since Eliesa had basically decided at this point that she wanted a dog that she could take running. One of the adoption counselors pointed us to a dog named… Esme. That was the name they had given her. She’s a black lab mix, about a year of age. The only thing she wanted to do to Arabella was to play with her. No issues there, so Eliesa filled out some paperwork and brought her home.

Oh yeah, and renamed her Breckyn.

4 Comments

Katie, August 28th 2009 | Posted in friends, pets, photos

I can find parts somewhat humorous now.

Yes, Arabella is fine.

She bounced back quickly after being flushed with fluids, among a few other things (like potassium chloride supplements and sugar water.) Trixie is now being terrorized, wishing just a little bit that Bella’s sudden illness would’ve slown her down.

But, it hasn’t. AND I AM GRATEFUL.

Basically, we have no idea what happened. The vet gave us a few options, such as the possible pill I mentioned previously, or perhaps that bag of marijuana we left under the bed? Because Bella sure did have the munchies.

SERIOUSLY. THE VET SUGGESTED THAT!

We also had a pleasant conversation with the receptionist Saturday night:
R: “Well, she’ll have to stay here overnight and possibly a few more days.”
Mom: “We’re supposed to leave tomorrow morning… we’re only passing through here on our way home to Kansas.”
R: “Yeah, I know, but we can always transport her to your regular vet if we have to.”

From KENTUCKY to KANSAS?? In what, a doggie ambulance? Yeah, we can afford the $700 pricetag this trip to the ER vet cost, but a private ambulance for my three-pound dog? You heard us when we said we live in KANSAS, right!?

No but really guys, all in all the Jefferson Emergency Animal Hospital was wonderful to us, and to Arabella. Both vets we saw were very nice, the receptionist was sweet (albeit a little airhead-ed, but it was 1am), and the two technicians that helped were awesome.

The only reminder that Bella nearly died two nights ago is the patch of shaved fur on her front leg from the IV. Hallelujah!

2 Comments

Katie, August 10th 2009 | Posted in pets

My puppy is in the hospital

Arabella suddenly and rapidly became severely lethargic around 11pm tonight (Saturday night.) My mom figured she was just exhausted from the long drive from the beach to here in Kentucky/Indiana… but she’s not around Bella much, and I knew she was NOT okay. I have never seen my puppy act the way she did earlier.

I snap Google’d emergency vets in the Louisville area, and we rushed her to the only one open seven days a week, 365 days a year. They immediately took her, put in an IV catheter, took bloodwork, and set her up in a heated cage as her body temperature was low. The bloodwork was relatively fine, blood sugar a little high, electrolytes a little low, but in general, no cause for concern. The vet then ran an antifreeze test, given that we’ve been traveling, and that was negative.

Although I don’t see how this is possible, the vet believes she has toxin(s) in her body. Maybe she snatched up a pill someone left behind in our hotel room?? We really don’t know.

Bella is now residing in the ICU unit at the ER vet in Louisville for at least the next 24 hours. I have no idea when my mom and I will get home. We may be able to leave later tomorrow afternoon, but there’s a chance we’ll be here for the next day or two.

Please keep her in your thoughts. Arabella turns six months old tomorrow, whilst in the hospital.

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3 Comments

Katie, August 9th 2009 | Posted in pets, photos
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