Everything was horrible, awful, last week, especially with the demise of my MFH dreams (and the death of my dog, of course.) It’s a damn good thing I’m on that Zoloft, I tell you what. I would have taken muchhhh longer to comprehend and get over it all if I hadn’t been.

I’m employed now as a waitress by the restaurant at which my relatives work, a cashier at Walmart, and a computer sales rep at Best Buy. You know what’s bullshit? Drug tests. I mean, okay, I see the point, but I’ve never done drugs EVER, so WTF, I don’t want to be treated like everyone else!!!!! I think they’re a pre-employment Oklahoma state law though. Anyway, for the Walmart one, the lab was in an urgent care facility, HELL in February. I waited two hours. TWO HOURS. TO PEE IN A FUCKING CUP. Then, the Best Buy one this morning, I didn’t pee enough the first time. (In my defense, the nurse wanted a damn GALLON, or close to that.) So I had to wait an hour to try again. Which made me have to reschedule my Walmart orientation. It’s tough holding down three jobs, I tell ya.

I finished my Precalc class, well, almost. I’ve completed all the work, the midterm (obviously), and now all that’s left for me to do is the final exam. I’d have to jump through hoops to take it down here, so I’m just waiting to schedule it when I’m at home next. I have until April 1st, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

This little brat lying in my lap right now is Isabella Nicole, Izzie for short. Born December 15, 2009, Izzie is a Westie (West Highland White Terrier), and a TERROR. That’s right. They don’t call ‘em terriers for nothing. Where Arabella was relatively chill, Izzie is HYPERHYPERHYPERPLAYPLAYPLAY. It’s exhausting, and she pees on my floor. Someone pleaaaaase remind me to adopt an adult dog next time, alright? I’m 99.9% sure I also said that when I first got Bella.

All that’s left is for the weather to get warmer so I can stop shivering when I get into my car. And for the construction on 75 and I-44 to be finished. A Braum’s out here in the ‘burbs would be nice, too. (My new obsession. Braum’s has the MOST AMAZING milkshakes, EVER. I’ve had at least one every day for the past week.) (Shut up, it’s calcium!)

<3 xox

Arabella Jane Evans, my baby, my puppy, my little girl, died tonight. Around 12:15am, February 6 2010, in the car on the way to the Tulsa ER vet. Probably somewhere on I-44 between Peoria and Harvard. She took a couple deep breaths and I knew, when I was pulling her limp body out of her car carrier, that she was gone.

The ER vet tried to save her. They tried CPR. They tried a catheter. They tried. I will be forever grateful. There was just nothing they could do. She had no breath sounds, no heart rate by the time I got her in there. She was already gone.

I miss her so much. All her things are here strewn around me, right as we left them. Her bone is on the floor, half-eaten. Her two crates and dog bed sit here, with no dog to sit in them. Everything’s the same, yet nothing will ever be the same. I’ll never again hear her tags clink together on her collar as she bounces, leaps, thumps toward me in the cute way only she could do. I’ll never again be awakened by my little alarm clock, ready to eat and be let outside at exactly 7:30am. I’ll never get to see her tolerate my children yanking her tail and picking her up. I used to imagine how she would react with a screaming baby in the house… I already know how she acts around 2+ year olds (phenomenally.) She won’t be begging for food at the table, dancing on her hind legs. She won’t be chewing my headphones. She won’t be nosing her way into my lap when I’m trying to type on my laptop. I won’t get to celebrate her first birthday on Sunday with my cousins, like we had been planning.

I regret every single moment where I thought life would be easier without her. If only I hadn’t thought that, if only I hadn’t told Kelsi I didn’t believe in heaven or hell, if only I had taken her in ten minutes earlier, if only I had tried to see if there was a closer ER vet. If only if only if only.

I love you, my sweet princess. I love you so much.

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I password-protected a post I wrote about two weeks ago. There are no juicy secrets in it, sorry, I just don’t want that information about me available to the general public. Future protected posts will more than likely be coming, and the password will be the same for all. If you want the password, comment on this post or send me an email.

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The House passed the healthcare reform bill tonight. Remember when I wrote this, about my friend who freaks the fuck out at anyone who could be remotely liberal? Yeah, guess who wrote a Facebook status almost immediately, sparking debate (not bad) and namecalling (bad.) WHICH PISSES ME OFF ALL OVER AGAIN. Shit, I don’t care if you hate the bill. Honestly, I’m not quite fond of it myself. But to write “FOR ALL YOU IGNORANT LIBERALS….I’M SURE THIS IS ALL GEORGE BUSH’S FAULT.”? Really? Do you really need the “for all you ignorant liberals” part? As I recall, there were plenty of conservatives blaming Bush 24/7. So shut the fuck up. *P.S. Just for you, one-who-wrote-Facebook-status, I’m not-so-secretly glad that someone poked a hole in your credibility and commended a liberal for taking the high road. HA!*

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To the surprise of no one, I’m pretty sure I’m failing approximately half my classes.

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My mom hit a deer last week, driving my dad’s car. We took it to the dealer, along with my car (scheduled maintenance), to make sure nothing was technically wrong with it and to order new parts. The service technician propped the hood open to check the engine, stuck his hand in there, and pulled out… OUR HOUSE PHONE. From the engine. All my mom said was, “THAT’S where that went!”

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I bought a new LCD HDTV. It is gorgeous and the most grown-up thing I have ever bought myself. I’ll be living off Ramen and water for the next thirty years, but who cares? I HAVE A FUCKING SWEET TV! Also on the home-y note, I’m painting my rooms dark blue and dark green, a definite upgrade from the current dingy, contractor-painted colors.

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Get ready for tomorrow… where I detail everything that I’ve been feeling toward MFH for the past, oh, ever! (Oh, and in case anyone noticed, I didn’t do a first of the month post for November. Because absolutely nothing is happening in November.)

Eliesa’s friend has a Siamese cat who was having kittens. Loving Siamese cats and being lonely when I take my pets home for the weekend, Eliesa had planned on taking one of the kittens if the cat gave birth to a Siamese one. Well, apparently they all took after their dad, so Eliesa headed down to one of our local animal shelters while I was at the rink to find the perfect kitten.

I got a call pretty soon after I got off the ice that day:
Eliesa: “Sooo… I’m at Animal Haven…”
Me: “Yeah…”
Eliesa: “Weeelll, how would you feel if I got a husky?”
*note my shock here*
Me: “A husky? As in the DOG BREED husky??”
Eliesa: “Ya, I totally just fell in love with her.”
Me: “A husky, a puppy and a cat in an 800 square foot apartment. LET’S DO IT.”

The shelter knew I had Arabella, and they wanted to see how she reacted with the husky (whose name I can’t remember now.) Right off the bat, the husky’s prey drive went NUTS. Arabella only weighs three pounds, so that’s understandable- but we obviously couldn’t adopt her when we have both Arabella and Trixie.

Eliesa and I (and Arabella) went through the shelter looking for a new dog, since Eliesa had basically decided at this point that she wanted a dog that she could take running. One of the adoption counselors pointed us to a dog named… Esme. That was the name they had given her. She’s a black lab mix, about a year of age. The only thing she wanted to do to Arabella was to play with her. No issues there, so Eliesa filled out some paperwork and brought her home.

Oh yeah, and renamed her Breckyn.

She bounced back quickly after being flushed with fluids, among a few other things (like potassium chloride supplements and sugar water.) Trixie is now being terrorized, wishing just a little bit that Bella’s sudden illness would’ve slown her down.

But, it hasn’t. AND I AM GRATEFUL.

Basically, we have no idea what happened. The vet gave us a few options, such as the possible pill I mentioned previously, or perhaps that bag of marijuana we left under the bed? Because Bella sure did have the munchies.

SERIOUSLY. THE VET SUGGESTED THAT!

We also had a pleasant conversation with the receptionist Saturday night:
R: “Well, she’ll have to stay here overnight and possibly a few more days.”
Mom: “We’re supposed to leave tomorrow morning… we’re only passing through here on our way home to Kansas.”
R: “Yeah, I know, but we can always transport her to your regular vet if we have to.”

From KENTUCKY to KANSAS?? In what, a doggie ambulance? Yeah, we can afford the $700 pricetag this trip to the ER vet cost, but a private ambulance for my three-pound dog? You heard us when we said we live in KANSAS, right!?

No but really guys, all in all the Jefferson Emergency Animal Hospital was wonderful to us, and to Arabella. Both vets we saw were very nice, the receptionist was sweet (albeit a little airhead-ed, but it was 1am), and the two technicians that helped were awesome.

The only reminder that Bella nearly died two nights ago is the patch of shaved fur on her front leg from the IV. Hallelujah!

I snap Google’d emergency vets in the Louisville area, and we rushed her to the only one open seven days a week, 365 days a year. They immediately took her, put in an IV catheter, took bloodwork, and set her up in a heated cage as her body temperature was low. The bloodwork was relatively fine, blood sugar a little high, electrolytes a little low, but in general, no cause for concern. The vet then ran an antifreeze test, given that we’ve been traveling, and that was negative.

Although I don’t see how this is possible, the vet believes she has toxin(s) in her body. Maybe she snatched up a pill someone left behind in our hotel room?? We really don’t know.

Bella is now residing in the ICU unit at the ER vet in Louisville for at least the next 24 hours. I have no idea when my mom and I will get home. We may be able to leave later tomorrow afternoon, but there’s a chance we’ll be here for the next day or two.

Please keep her in your thoughts. Arabella turns six months old tomorrow, whilst in the hospital.

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One of my best friends, Erin, came into town randomly Thursday. She decided at noon to get on a 3pm flight from St. Louis to Kansas City, then to leave the next morning. I picked her up from the airport, and we went shopping down on the Plaza and all around had a good time! I can’t waaaait till she moves back this fall!

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My poor Arabella was sick yesterday. =( I gave her one of Jack The Dog’s big food-bone thingys the day before yesterday, because I ran out of her little rawhide bones. She wolfed it down in like ten seconds flat. I’m guessing that’s why she puked everywhere. She seems to be okay now, though!

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All of my Tulsa cousins have arrived and are settling in here with us in Lawrence. My thirteen-year-old cousin Erin made a blog, click here to see! They all go home on Monday, except for Amy who’s staying here a week longer. We’ll probably be hanging around the lake, the rink, the pool, the gymnastics place, etc etc…

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Aaand, I’ve been contemplating legally changing my name. I’ve always gone by Katie, a nickname of my middle name (Katherine) and have never used my given first name. So I might just go legally change my first name to Katherine and stick a version of my first name as my middle name. Make sense?

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P.S. MANY, MANY, MANY!! thanks to Mary for the new custom header!!!