Seven years ago today.

In light of all that’s happening in Mid-Tennessee…

On May 4th, 2003, the sky shot from gray and blah to green and eerie in a matter of minutes (that kind of change you only see in the Midwest.) My mom was at work; Will, Dad, and I had just been lying around the house, being lazy. We knew we were under a tornado watch, as we had been for the past few days. Once we noticed the sudden change in the sky, we headed down to our walkout basement (the storm shelter was in the back, away from the backyard/walkout part.) My dad flipped on the TV, as that’s always been his main method of news-gathering… at least, ever since TVs became popular and we stopped relying on the weather radio with the creepy jazz music. (Sometime after our entire basement flooded up to the first floor in 1998, WHILE WE WERE UNDER A TORNADO WARNING. Yeah, we had to choose between drowning and being sucked up by a tornado.) So, my dad, being my dad, has the TV on SO FUCKING LOUD that Will and I can barely hear ourselves talk. We’re still in the walkout part of the basement at this point, right next to the floor-to-ceiling windows, because it’s just a watch, not a warning. I’m still staring at the sky thinking… hmm… here’s the wind… here’s the hail… here’s the rain… uhhh… a tornado is going to appear any minute… and all the sudden, I think, hmm… I hear the faint shrill of the tornado sirens.

So, I’m like, “DAD, TURN THE TV DOWN, THE TORNADO SIRENS ARE GOING OFF!” And he’s like, “nah, they are not, it would be on the news if we were now in a warning, and besides, there’s one right next to us… it’s loud.” And once again, I’m like, “DAD, JUST LOOK OUTSIDE. THEY’RE GOING OFF. AND YOU HAVE THE TV UP SO LOUD YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HEAR IT ANYWAY.” And he STILL doesn’t believe me, at least not until the newscasters and meteorologists say, “alright, we’re going off-air and into shelter, there’s a tornado right next to us.” At which point, my dad JUMPS up, and starts FREAKING out, and is like, “RUN GUYS OMG RUN WE HAVE TO GET INTO THE STORM SHELTER OMG THE TORNADO IS COMING OMG!” like this is the first tornado warning he’s ever been in. Me being the caring, unselfish one, goes, “WAIT, we have to go get the cats so they don’t get sucked up and thrown around and die!” My dad is like, “YOU GO, YOU GO GET THE CATS! THE TORNADO IS COMING! YOU AND WILL GO FIND ALL FOUR OF THEM AND BRING THEM DOWN! GO!”

Hahahaha. We found the cats and didn’t die. In fact, contrary to my memory, apparently the May 4th tornado warning wasn’t even the one that spawned the tornado that destroyed part of Lawrence… it was the May 8th one that did. Both our junior high and the montessori school got ripped apart (for the third time in like, three years… someone hates education!), as well as some houses and the apartment complex that seems to be a magnet for natural disasters. (It’s been hit a few times by tornadoes as well as burned down by being struck by lightning.) I don’t remember the May 8th one being that big of a deal, even though it should’ve been since that one got closer to our house than the May 4th one… I only for certain remember the May 4th one because of my dad missing the sirens and almost killing us and because May 4th, 2003 was my friend’s 12th birthday.

Here’s some snazzy pictures from our newspaper from the May 8th tornado…


(the tornado about to touch down next to our junior high)

(the magnet apartments, plus some homes)

(our governor at the time, now US Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, in front of the apartment complex)

Prayers to the Tennesseans as they battle this flooding. We’re lucky in that most of our flooding only affects downtown Lawrence (where our old house in 1998 was) and don’t have to worry too much about the majority of our businesses having to shut down for months on end. Kansans are pros at dealing with tornadoes and all the cleaning up after… but I doubt dealing with being underwater was on anyone’s radar in Tennessee.

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Katie, May 4th 2010 | Posted in awareness/causes/news, family, photos, rambling

To one of our little skater sisters

Dear E,

I know, that as an eighth-grader, you feel like a rockstar each time the eighteen-year-old college freshman texts you. I know the stories he’s told you to suck you in, how his mom is so sick and how he’s carrying the burden of the world on his shoulders. I know he talks to you about music and makes you feel like he understands you. I know you want Hillary and I to back the hell off and let you do your own thing.

But E? We love you, and we care about you. He started reeling you in when you were just thirteen, barely a teenager. We know him- I know him. He lives in my town, this small little community where there are no secrets. I know his past, his conquests, his friends, his enemies. And I can tell you right now, he’s up to no good. When my older skater sisters warned me about Jesse, to be careful, I didn’t listen. I told them to fuck off, they didn’t know what they were talking about, to just leave me alone. I stand by my decision only because I believe you have to make mistakes in order to learn. The difference between you and me, though, is that I was seventeen, out of high school. You’re still our baby, the one for whom we’d kill.

This boy, he thinks you’re cute. He tiptoed around when he was with Hillary to avoid anyone noticing that he was talking to someone as young as you. There are rumors that he has ‘pictures’ of you, and I swear on my mother’s grave, if that’s true, there won’t be anything holding me back. In case you didn’t know, those kinds of pictures are illegal in our state for anyone, for any reason, under the age of eighteen. He’s prepping you for more. I know you have a good head on your shoulders… but what about when someone you think is a friend, really cares about you, tries something? Will you say no? Do you have it in you? I never want you to have to make that choice, be in that situation, at this age.

I’m not mad at you; WE aren’t mad at you. I am furious with him, but I’m not angry with you, I promise. Yeah, I ‘had’ him first, but only for a nanosecond. Hillary’s slightly more upset, simply because she feels betrayed, but she still loves you too. Listen to me, hon- I’m going to sort this out. I will not allow him to continue talking to you, no matter how angry this makes you. If he doesn’t follow our rules, there will be consequences for him. This town doesn’t settle for assholes or pedophiles. And I will fix things between you and Hillary.

I love you, dollface. I hope this isn’t the reason we haven’t talked in a few months, because you were afraid of me. There are some things I get upset about, but in this case, I’m not upset with you in the slightest.

<3

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Katie, April 28th 2010 | Posted in friends, letters, skating

Free spirit?

Tori likes to remind me that I’m “a real free spirit.” One who hates being tied down, one who enjoys frequently switching jobs and uprooting her life. And, she’s right, but more in the sense that I’m not searching for change… I’m chasing after happiness. I feel like I’m never completely content, and I KNOW you’re supposed find the joy in what you have. BUT I CAN’T. I always want something more.

My cousins are hilariously amazing. Not a day goes by that I don’t appreciate being so close to them, getting the chance to be a part of their family. But? The rest of the people I love are in Kansas. I left to get away from them… but was that the best idea? What about the saying, “you can run away, but you can’t ever run away from your problems”? I’ve loved the distance from the drama, the distance from the people in general. Now, though, I’m having a hard time figuring out if I want to stay in Tulsa or move back to Kansas.

There are some pressing issues in my life that would pretty much need me to move back. I honestly think that’s the best course of action for my current situation. I’d love to elaborate, but others deserve to know before the rest of the Internet. The deal is, I’d come back here, finish my vet tech degree by Fall 2011/Spring 2012, and when my parents move… maybe I will, too. At that point, both Will and Amy will be off to college somewhere. I don’t know where I’d go yet (obviously.) Or even if I will.

The only, ONLY thing that is REALLY holding me back from moving to Kansas again is leaving my cousins. This is going to crush all of them, not to mention me!! I wish, so badly, that they would move up a state, instead of just moving to a new house in Tulsa. I love being close to them. I love being Amy and Erin’s sounding board, their rock, their big sister. I love how Logan knows me, can say my name. I love playing football with Jason and mercilessly teasing him about his girlfriends. I love fighting over the TV remote with Kelsi and eating late-night bagels with Sarah.

And now, writing that paragraph… now… now, I’m even less certain than I was earlier.

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Katie, April 25th 2010 | Posted in family, little ones, rambling, videos

It Is What It Is

Life is so strange, so curious, so hard.

I’m conflicted, confused, and I don’t even really know what about.

Here in Tulsa, I’m legitimately happy; I can’t deny that. As a whole person, I am pretty thrilled with being alive, for the first time since I was a kid.

Yet, I have these down moments where I miss Kansas. I figure that’s pretty normal, since it’s home at all, but I can’t wrap my head around WHY I would miss it. I LOATHED being there. I hated listening to my friends rattle on about stupid college-kid things. And like I said before, most of the time, I’m so glad I left. But these flashes… they’re really throwing me off.

Maybe they’re increasing due to my recent feelings of anxiousness and stress. I’m in a very scary financial bind right now, which I shouldn’t complain too much about given that I have a roof over my head, gas in my car, and a little money in savings. There are worse-off people than me. But I’ve never been in this situation, where I’m 98% sure I won’t make it to the end of this month without transferring money out of my savings account. Most of this month’s money went to paying two places full rent, a third place half rent, vet bills, Izzie’s upcoming boarding while we’re on Spring Break… and honestly, that’s about it. But those are HUGE expenses, all at once, that I was only slightly prepared for. And I moved (hence one of the rent checks)… and I don’t have a bed. So that kind of sucks.

I really want to slap myself for complaining this much. I’m such a privileged American, so what if I have one tough month? Other people have entire tough LIVES. Like I said before, I have a nice safe house, a room, my own bathroom, a reliable car, a healthy dog, MY health, close relatives, a good life. I guess I’m just not accustomed to the “real world”, and being flung into it is rough. I don’t even pay for things like my cell phone bill, car maintenance, some of the vet bills… my parents still give me a lot of money, which I am ever grateful for. That’s why I won’t go to them begging for more money to buy a bed. They already provide me with so much. Sleeping on the floor for a few months isn’t going to kill me.

I got off-track. I guess I’m not so much confused as I am having trouble separating my thoughts. Everything is jumbled in one big pile in my head, and I’ve never been good at taking time to just sit and think. Something to work on, I suppose.

<3

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Katie, March 7th 2010 | Posted in rambling

Come on, so-called intelligent people, think of something else.

Like many other school districts in the nation, my hometown’s is currently facing a budget crisis. We are $5.5 MILLION short. FIVE MILLION!! The main reason is due to the way the state of Kansas doles out district money: the amount is determined by something relating to how big the county is, NOT how many students are in the county. Anyone see a problem with this? About 50% of the state’s population live in the Northeast corner. So, say there’s a county in Western Kansas that is the same size (square feet?) as one in Northeast Kansas. The Western one could have 100 students, whereas a Northeast one could have 20,000… and they would get the same amount of education money. This is THE biggest issue with Kansas education as of now.

Good old Lawrence has a $5.5 million shortfall. Our district has 1 early education center (PK), 15 elementary schools (K-6), 4 junior high schools (7-9), 2 high schools (10-12), a virtual school (K-8), and an adult education center. A few years back, they closed a few elementary schools and our alternative high school (both horrendous ideas for multiple reasons.) There are currently around 10,000 students. Our city is a community; this is not a place where you can live anonymously.

The school board seems to have only one solution. They SAY they’re trying to find alternatives, but actions speak louder than words. What do they want to do? Close more elementary schools. Close MORE. The last elementary school I attended was the newest, still is the newest, and when I graduated, we had less than 200 kids. They have over 500 now!! We need another school out here, NOT close some and have more kids shoved into this school! And it’s like that all across town- all the schools are at capacity. Some are much smaller than others, but they are at capacity. Closing elementary schools is going to increase class sizes to over 30 kids. I don’t know who came up with this genius idea, but that automatically means lower test scores, less attention, more teacher anxiety. (Oh, not to mention our teachers are the lowest paid in the ENTIRE STATE.) (The school board also has been talking about moving the 9th graders to high school. Whole other story. The high schools are maxed out too… THERE IS NO ROOM FOR 9TH GRADERS.)

Mmm… and should I mention we spent god knows how many millions on two new stadiums for the high schools last year? THAT WE DIDN’T NEED? And how the administration building is the nicest building in the entire district? And how there’s plenty of room for the administration to share an old elementary school building with the virtual school? And how we pay our admin more than our teachers? And how we HAVE more admin than we need?

I honestly don’t know how the fuck this school board was elected. I have yet to meet anyone in this entire city who thinks closing schools is a good idea. I don’t know if there’s a hidden agenda, I don’t know if the city officials are in on this, but education is supposed to come FIRST. Yet, why is it the first cut? (And not just in Kansas, everywhere!) Politicians say we need to improve education, help our children, but no one is doing anything besides take money away.

We live in a very sad, pathetic country.

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Katie, March 3rd 2010 | Posted in awareness/causes/news, rants
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